


The Logical Choice

by BeverlyJVolker (SteveWilson)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:42:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24389833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteveWilson/pseuds/BeverlyJVolker
Summary: Spock has said over and over again that he does not desire command. Starfleet has other ideas.
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Spock
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	The Logical Choice

THE LOGICAL CHOICE

BY BEVERLY VOLKER

This Work was originally published in Contact #2 (May, 1976)

The Vulcan slipped the chain of the IDIC over his head just as the buzzer to his cabin door sounded.

"Come," he called, and turned as the door slid open to admit James Kirk, Captain of the _Enterprise,_ outfitted this evening in full dress uniform.

"Ready, Mr. Spock?" he asked. Spock nodded.

"Yes, Captain."

Jim scrutinized his First Officer, who also wore the Starfleet dress uniform. "Well, you look very dressed up. Admiral Cavey will be duly impressed, I'm sure."

"Captain, on formal occasions such as this, the required uniform of…"

"I know, Spock. I'm just teasing. By the way, I just wanted to tell you, I'm... well, very proud of you." Spock lifted an eyebrow as a reply. "All right," Jim countered, "pride is a human Emotion. Well, I'm human. Anyway, the Federation Medal of Valor isn't something that Starfleet gives lightly; you performed an exception act of bravery and you deserve it."

Spock fingered his IDIC idly. "Jim, at the time, I was merely performing my duty as I logically reasoned I must. Nevertheless…thank you."

Kirk touched his friend's shoulder lightly as they left the cabin and made their way to the turbo-lift that would take them to the ship's assembly hall.

Admiral Cavey and a delegation of several of Starfleet's upper echelons had arrived on board the _Enterprise_ to present Spock and several other officers special awards of merit for the _Enterprise's_ recent confrontation with the deadly amoeba-like phenomenon. Upon reading Kirk's log entry and recommendations, Starfleet had decided the _Enterprise_ had played a decisive and extraordinary part in maintaining the safety of the galaxy. Awards of merit were being presented tonight to Mr. Scott, Dr. McCoy, Lieutenants Uhura, Sulu and Cowell. But the special prize, the coveted Medal of Valor, was being awarded to Spock for the risk he had incurred by taking the shuttlecraft alone into the center of the holocaust.

Kirk sat proudly through the ceremony, as each presentation was made. He felt like a father watching his children being honored, and he felt humbled and thankful at the fate which had put him in command of such a crew. It did not occur to him that his own example of leadership was the driving force behind the 430 members of the _Enterprise_ family.

When Spock was called for his presentation, Kirk felt a lump form in his throat. and the sting of tears in his eyes as he recalled the incident for which his First Officer was being honored. _It could have so easily gone the other way_ , he thought. _It had been my choice to send him or McCoy in the shuttlecraft, to doom one of my friends to almost certain death. And it nearly had. For a while it seemed we had lost Spock._

Kirk relived the terror and frustration he had felt then. _But_ , he smiled now, _the fates had been kind. Spock had survived;_ we all had, and so we honor him tonight.

After the presentations, a reception was held. The _Enterprise_ officers, sporting their new medals, mingled with the Starfleet officials. Kirk was admiring Spock' s medal when Admiral Cavey approached them.

"Well, Commander Spock, how does it feel to be one of Starfleet's few who have won the Medal of Valor?" he quipped.

"Starfleet honors me, Admiral. I shall attempt to justify that honor."

"I'm sure you will. Captain, I have something that I think will come as a surprise to both you and the Commander," Cavey said. Both Kirk and Spock reacted with proper curiosity as the Admiral continued.

"As you know, the Vulcan ship, _Intrepid_ , was destroyed by the creature you finally succeeded in annihilating. Starfleet is now in the process of building a new Starship to replace her, and it also shall be manned by an all Vulcan crew. Mr. Spock, I'm authorized here and now to offer you the Captaincy of that ship."

Kirk felt his stomach tighten. A Captaincy for Spock! He hadn't expected that.

Spock looked steadily at the Admiral, giving no indication of his reaction. Finally he spoke.

"I am a scientist, Admiral. Commanding a ship would afford little opportunity to pursue that field."

The Admiral would not be deterred. "I'm sure something could be worked out, Commander. Especially on an all Vulcan ship. Your explorations would be primarily scientific. Let me remind you that most Medal of Valor winners hold at least the rank of Captain, as indeed, in the case of your own commanding officer."

Kirk could hold his silence no longer. "A Captaincy is not a pre-requisite for the medal, Admiral."

Cavey looked at him hard. " No. Of course not, Captain, but this offer of a promotion does go with it." He seemed to see through Jim Kirk. The Admiral was a good judge of human nature.

"You wouldn't want to stand in your First 0fficer's way, would you? It was, after all, your own recommendation that won him the award,"

Spock could sense the tension that seemed to be building up In Kirk. He addressed the Admiral.

"Admiral Cavey, I have not considered…"

Cavey interrupted. "You don' t have to decide now, Mr. Spock. Take, your time and think it over. But remember, things can be worked out for you. Starfleet wants very much to put you in command of that ship. Good night, gentlemen."

As Cavey left, Kirk turned to Spock. "Well, Spock, it' s been quite an evening. I think I'll say good night too."

Spock lowered his eyes, "Jim, you know I…" he began, but Kirk interrupted.

"Let' s not discuss it right now. Cavey was right; think about it—logically. Then we'll talk. Good night, Spock."

Kirk returned to his room. Several hours later he lay on his bunk, exhausted, but still wide awake. He wished he could take his own advice and think about this evening's unexpected turn of events—logically. But human emotions kept creeping into all his attempts at reason. He knew what a great opportunity this was for Spock. He also knew that Starfleet would go to great lengths to allow Spock to continue in his scientific pursuits. The _Intrepid_ had been primarily a scientific ship that seldon1 engaged in acts of diplomacy or combat. The new Vulcan ship would be the same.

Spock deserved a command of his own. Kirk knew he was being selfish for feeling the way he did. Cavey knew it too. But, damnit, he didn't want to lose Spock. Logically, if Spock were his best friend, he should be happy for him, want the best for him. Then why couldn't he feel that way?

Perhaps part of the answer lie in the fact that Kirk wasn't sure that being the Captain of his own ship would be the best thing for Spock. Jim knew, though he seldom admitted it, even to himself, what he and Spock meant to each other. Spock needed him, depended on him, as much as he needed and depended on Spock. Neither was complete, at his best, without the other. They were a team, they were friends, they…

Kirk suddenly halted his thoughts. What was he doing? This was pure emotionalism. Not a trace of reason. He could imagine, he thought wryly, what Spock would say to such a display. Anyway, it was all theoretical. The choice, ultimately, would be Spock's alone. not his, and Kirk determined he would say or do nothing to influence him.

Nevertheless, he tossed and turned the rest of the night.

The next morning, the grapevine had spread the news through the ship that Spock had been offered command of a new Vulcan Star ship. On his way to the bridge, Kirk marveled at the speed with which gossip spread as he caught snatches of conversation and speculation throughout the ship.

A sleepless night, the prospect of losing Spock, and a gossiping crew did little to improve Kirk's humor. As he entered the bridge, Uhura, Sulu and Scotty broke up what had apparently been another little group of conversation, and returned to their stations. One look at the Captain alerted them all that this was no morning for the usual bridge banter.

Spock crossed to the command chair as Kirk sat down. He handed Jim a report.

"I have the results of those atmospheric tests we ran yesterday, sir," he said. Kirk accepted the report without looking at it. Spock, aware that something was wrong with the Captain, asked, "Is anything the matter?"

"No, Spock, I just didn't sleep very well." Kirk answered shortly, then added, "Too much party, I guess."

Spock nodded and started to return to his station. Then, abruptly, he turned back to Kirk. "Captain, about the Admiral's offer last night…"

Kirk looked at him sharply. "Yes, it seems the whole ship knows about it."

"I have given it a great deal of thought and consideration."

"I'm sure you have, Spock," Kirk cut in. "And I'm sure you will have the logical decision to give Admiral Cavey."

Spock seemed about to reply, then changed his mind and returned to his station.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully, and Kirk's humor gradually improved in the routine of the ship' s activities. But by late afternoon he was beginning to feel the strain of a lost night' s sleep in the tightening of his muscles, so he decided to go to the gym and work out.

He spent about an hour there, then went to grab a quick supper before returning to the bridge. As he entered the Officer's Mess, he was surprised to find Spock there, although it was not the Vulcan' s usual mealtime.

He looked up as Jim entered. "Captain, I wish to speak with you."

A look of annoyance crossed Kirk' s face as he sat down opposite his First Officer. "How did you know I' d be in here?" he asked, stalling for time. He had a pretty good idea what Spock wanted to talk to him about, and he didn't know if he was prepared to listen.

"It is your normal procedure to take nourishment following a session in the gym, Captain, " the Vulcan explained, using a tone which indicated he knew Kirk's question was a put-off. Softening, he added, "We must discuss Admiral Cavey's offer, Jim. He leaves tomorrow, and shall want my answer."

Kirk stared at the table. _All right_ , he thought grimly. There could be no further avoidance of the topic now. _If we must discuss it, let's get it over with._ He looked up at the Vulcan with steady eyes.

"You must know I'm behind you, however you decide, Spock," he said slowly, "but it' s your decision entirely."

Spock lifted an eyebrow. "As First Officer of the _Enterprise,_ my decision, were I to accept the Admiral' s offer, would affect this ship as well," he reminded.

Kirk's heart sunk. Then Spock _did_ intend to accept the command! Of course. He knew that ; why had he allowed himself to hope otherwise? Jim chastised himself for being selfish.

Forcing his voice to be light. he said quickly, "Well, it's a great opportunity, and I'm happy for you--an all Vulcan crew, plenty of scientific research, and an increase in rank."

"Jim," Spock put in softly, "I never desired command."

Kirk smiled wryly. _I know, Spock, it' s not easy for you either, is it?_ The Vulcan was so obviously trying not to hurt his feelings, to break it gently.

"Spock, I understand. Starfleet's giving you everything you could ever want."

The Vulcan opened his mouth to speak, but Jim waved him off, warming to this role he was playing. "You've been in the service for eighteen years, Spock. You've served the _Enterprise_ with loyalty, first under Chris Pike, and these past years…" His voice cracked, but he went on. "…under me. You deserve a ship of your own--you deserve this command." He broke off, taking a deep breath. _There,_ he thought. _Does that make you feel easier about it_?

But the look on Spock' s face wasn't easy. A confused, incredulous look had taken over the impassive features.

"You want me to accept the Admiral's offer."

It wasn't a question, but Kirk answered anyway. "It' s not a matter of what I _want_ , Spock. It's what makes sense… what is logical." Unable to continue, the Captain got up heavily to leave.

Spock rose too, and put a hand on Kirk' s arm to forestall his departure. "Jim… " he pleaded, "I don't understand. If you asked me to stay…"

Kirk looked down at the hand on his arm, then up into Spock's eyes. Cutting smoothly into the Vulcan's sentence, he said, "I won' t do that, Spock. I can't."

Without a backward look, he left the room.

Admiral Cavey and the rest of the Starfleet delegation were already in the transporter room with Spock when Kirk arrived the next day to bid them farewell. The Admiral was speaking to Spock, but he looked up to address Kirk as the Captain entered.

"Well, I've been trying to convince your First Officer that he' s making a big mistake turning down Starfleet's generous offer, but his mind is made up."

Kirk looked at Spock in surprise, and suddenly felt like a hundred pound weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"When Mr. Spock makes up his mind to something, he' s usually a hard man to change," Kirk told him.

"I don't know what you do, Captain Kirk, but you certainly elicit loyalty from your officers."

Kirk grinned. "Live right, I suppose, Admiral."

The Starfleet officials stepped up to the platform, bid their farewells, and were lost to the sparkle of the transporter. Jim and Spock were left alone.

"That was a very illogical decision, my Vulcan friend," Jim accused.

"Perhaps," Spock said. He lowered his eyes, then looked directly at Jim. "But I have told you I have no desire to command. I am content to serve aboard the _Enterprise_ under Captain James T. Kirk. Is that illogical?"

Their eyes met and held for a long moment. A myriad of words and feelings that would remain unspoken passed between them. Finally, Jim shook his head.

"No--that' s not illogical at all. Let' s get to the bridge."

-END-

_"I account it one of the greatest demonstrations of real friendship, that a friend can really endeavor to have his friend advanced in honor, in reputation, in the opinion of wit or learning, before himself."_

_JEREMY TAYLOR_


End file.
